• Blog

Downsizing with less angst.

Downsizing with less angst.

 

Downsizing can be a daunting task for anyone.  Multiply this six-fold when you’re not well, are used to being totally independent and yet you find yourself overwhelmed with everything that needs to be done.  Worse still despite knowing you need to move to where you can get the support you need, you really don’t want to go.

This is the dire situation many of my elderly clients find themselves in.  Many don’t have family or friends around to assist with their move.  Sometimes I think it’s probably easier for a third party to have the difficult conversations with people about what should and shouldn’t be moved, but if you’re working through this process with family members, here are the steps I follow:

Empathy.  Acknowledge this is a difficult time of life and that so many years of memories are intrinsically tied up in the family home of 40 years or more.  Assure mum and/or dad they have ultimate control over what goes with them, what is donated and what is disposed of.  This is the most important step, as you need to have your parents on board with the changes that will be happening.

Focus.  Focus on the benefits of downsizing.  Work closely with the residential village and talk with your loved ones about what they’ll be gaining with the move.  There’s sure to be community and social activities they can be involved in if they choose.

Realistic conversations.  Mum and dad might want to take everything with them, but because of limited space, realistically this can’t happen.  I talk with my clients about what is most important to them and work from there.  Depending on the urgency of the move, maybe some items can be temporarily stored with friends and family.  There is always the storage container option, but that can end up being expensive.  Maybe your parents have a charity of choice they’d be happy to make donations too?

Enlist help.  Are there other family or friends who can assist with the process?  Really important here not to exclude someone who should be involved, plus many hands make light work.  Remember not to overwhelm your parents with too many choices at once.  There might be many breaks and cups of tea, but remember slow and steady will have them moved to their new home, with much less angst.